Seeing you happy makes me feel nice.
Sometimes Im just like.. Why, though?

Yesterday.

Before I was getting ready for bed.. I was ecstatic. I have never been so happy in such a long time. Trust me, you can even ask Tyler or Ate Rachel. Really, though .. I was one of the happiest people on this world. And inside my heart, I was jumping all over the place. The kind of happiness I had was the "Im so happy, I could go dancing in the cold winter's rain right now." My smile was geniune, and it felt so good to be able to thank God on so many levels.

But after yesterday, I have come to realize that my worst enemy is no one, but myself. I am the primary root of all this pain I bear. I am causing myself to hurt more than I already do. And its scary, because I dont want to hold any of this negativity .. but its myself that continuously throws more sorrow onto my vulnerable body.

And you know how they say, "Sometimes.. people just need their time alone." Right now is probably one of those times where I am too afraid to be alone. Right now, I shouldnt even try surrounding myself with emptiness, because it only brings me down. Because when Im alone, my own mind reminds me of the things I dont need to replay in my head. When Im alone, I think about what can go wrong, and how matters can get worse. When Im alone, my optimistic mindset begins to swallow itself.

Once I said my goodbyes and goodnights yesterday, and began to prepare myself for bed .. I slowly felt my heart sink. I gradually began to see the smile on my face disappear into the dust. The only things that kept me going last night were Evening Prayers. Evening Prayers always end my night in a blessed way. Without them, I would be uninspired to wake in the morning. Without them, I would be lacking of the feeling that I did something beautiful, not only for myself, not only for Christ, but for you all.. you all that Im praying for.

Really, I think all I need right now is your prayers. I'll pray for you as you continue to pray for me.

Love,
Ria.

"Aw, I thought you guys would last. You two looked nice together!"

And her saying that means something to me, because she hardly ever says things like that. And every time we talked about you, she would say.. "You guys are so cute!"

I think I'd like to hear what you have to say IRL.

Why?

Why would I look back at these if its only hurting me? Why would I look back at these if it only makes me miss you more? Well, thats because it gives me hope. And it reminds me of how blessed I was to have a beautiful soul like yours make me feel the way you did.

[03:00] Kirbs da shizzle: I missss you :[[[[[[[[[[[[

I havent been here in a long time.

1. Happy birthday, bff. :D Im glad you enjoyed your day today. And now you know how much of a great friend you are! Kekeke. I hope you understand that you deserve it all. And that I care about you so much! xP
2. Eraine, I had so much fun with you last night. Even though we didnt shower yet.. and we lost a lot of sleep. It was so worth it. I havent laughed that much in a long time! It was so fun laughing with you. [; We are so coool, man. Its pretty unbelievable. We're freakin geniuses. Hahaha. Now, we must promise to share our cute ideas to each other's boyfriends. HAHAH.
3. JC, I feel like I havent talked to you in such a long time. Nor have I seen you. Lets fix that.
4. Nyeeeeh. Do you still read this? Did you ever? HAHA. You make me wanna punch you in the face, a lot. :D But thats kaay. Thats the "love hate relationship" we have. Hahaha. I hope you like the next note I give you. I think its really funny. :P
5. AY NAKU. Anong gagawin ko sa'yo? Mahirap naman magmahal sa'yo, pero sinasabi ko lagi sa sarili ko na kayang kaya kung gawin. Please, parang hindi ko na kayang magtago sa'yo. Basta, wag ka lang mawala sa buhay ko. Gets mo ba? Oo, baka desperada na ako dito, pero sa totoo lamang.. mahal na mahal kita. Ikaw lang ang nasa isip ko sa araw at gabi. Bakit? Eh, hindi ko nga alam kung bakit. Yan, tapos na ako dito. Pero hindi pa tapos ang pagmamahal ko sa'yo. Habang buhay mamahalin kita. (Kung hindi tama yung sinasabi ko sa Tagalog, pasensiya na lang sa inyo.)
<3

I havent been here in a while.

Blogger is so sad now that everyone uses tumblr. D:
Except for like, Nghia, AJ, Eileen, and Sarah. Haha.
Happy December, everyone! :]
I hope I start this month off right.
I think Im going to start working out more.
Ive been slacking so much, ever since school started. xP
And I need to spend less time on the computer.
And do more productive things .. like,

1. Get ahead on my homework. 8D
2. Study.. haha.
3. Get better at guitar.
4. Get a lot better at guitar.
5. Keep my room clean for longer periods of time. x]
6. Set aside more time for prayer.
7. Spend more time with my family.
8. Read more books. :P And the Bible!
9. Work out a lot more.
10. Make more cute outfits to wear. ;D

Yeah, hopefully I can keep up with what I want to do.
Time to be productive, and to my math hw.
Ciao. <3