So much.

Why do we go through so much every day? Yesterday, I wanted to cry so hard. Yesterday, my heart felt so confused. I really didnt know what to do. After that, I didnt know if I would be able to look at you without crying. Cause it hurt. So much. And it was so much of an impact, that neither of us can ignore it. Nobody can erase it. What is done, is done. But at the same time, I couldnt just let you go. I couldnt just let that overpower everything else thats so amazing about you. I was scared, well .. Im still scared and I admitted it to you. But I dont know, I just cant seem to want to give up on you just because of that. Yeah, its huge. But I want to overcome it, with you. I want to help you out, a lot. I dont care what people will think. I cant promise that it wont bring me down. It probably will, but those things will only make me stronger. What those people will say will only make me want to spend more time with you & become a better person with you. I want to help you change. I want to help you grow in your faith in God. I want to offer up whatever He intends for the both of us to God. I want us to rely on God for everything. If we get together, I want to know that God is the one that brought us together. I want us to be close, but I want God in the middle. I want God to take part in our lives, forever. And I know you do too. So yes, lets take it slow.

Interesting.

A lot of things happened yesterday. But overall, I had fun. :D It was Fr. Sal's Farewell Mass. Its a bittersweet kind of thing, you know? We're going to miss him and all, but at the same time we should be happy. Because he is getting the opportunity to reach out & open the hearts of people elsewhere. He is getting the chance to tell other people of God's love. He is pouring out blessings to a new parish, a new community. But I surely will miss him. He has made such an impact on my life, even his laugh. :] The only awkward thing that happened during mass was Uncle Edgar. OMG, hahaha. When Auntie Tes came over to sit in our row, we had to like .. squeeze in together because they didnt have anymore open seats. Then, Uncle Edgar saw us. So he says, "Ria." & I was thinking, "Oh man, oh man, oh man. Michael, help me!" Hahaha. And Uncle Edgar moves over one seat & tells me to sit next to FM. I mean, its not like I dont like FM .. it was just really weird. Hahaha. I told you, Camille & Michael. I wasnt just .. seeing things. Anyways, after mass we had a picnic, I guess you could say. It was sad how they ran out of food. D: So I decided to start sharing with JC and Rachel. That was pretty funny. Hahaha. "Food is food." :D Then we sang. I had so much fun singing knowing that I was offering my voice for Fr. Sal. It always feels good to sing with the youth when I know Im offering our songs to the Lord. Always. <3 Buuuuut, Im sorry for being to close to the mic. The video is probably terrible because I was so loud. >.< Sorry, guys. Then afterwards, me & Camille & JC basically hung out in the audience. That was like, the first time we ever hung out, I believe. Hahaha. We all had a good time. & it was funny how me and Camille would get mad at JC, but then JC and Camille would make me mad & I would try not to laugh, but WHATEVER. xD Hahaha. And I feel like the Korean lady was starting to get annoyed when she couldnt hear JC's question. Too bad she said that I have aegyo, and not him. After Fr. Sal's thing, AMP43 went over to my house to practice while Tine, MG, and Kuya went over to Elaine's practice. Paola and I really wanted to go. -_- Gosh. Oh well .. At least we got to watch iCarly & Camille play on the box! HAHAHA.

"So who's going to play the box during She was Mine?"
"I'll do it! I'll do it!"
Everyone else says, "NO!"
HAHAHA. That was so funny. I like you, Camille. Youre ridonkulous. xD

And about you. I knew you were different compared to the rest of them. I hope you stay. I hope you dont grow impatient too easily. Cause theres so much about you I'd still like to discover. Youve already proved yourself to me, and I want you to know that. Im not ready yet, though .. and you shouldnt be either. Time really is the best thing for us now, huh? Hate to say this, but we found the right love at the wrong time. We'll just have to wait.

You: You are more than Ria to me. Ria, I actually like you, a lot. Hahahaha. I'm sorry. D=
Me: Really? I just feel like you fell for me at the wrong time. You know?
You: Yeah. Hahahaha. But there's always time, right?
Me: So if there's time, you can for wait me until I'm ready, right?
You: Of course I can, babe =] Cause I need time too. Hahaha.
Me: Aww. That's good to know. Because most guys in my past would want me to be ready right away. And usually, if I'm not ready, they just give up on me.
You: Well, I'm not gonna give up on you. You are gonna be worth my time. =] I just hope I can be. Hahahaha.
Me: Knowing that you're not like other guys and that you'd actually wait for me makes me glad to have known you bettter. And maybe in time, when I'm ready, you'll be worth my time as well. :]

Quick question.

Why are we even doing this?

Pretty fun.

Me & Kirby stickamed again .. haha. Until like, 3 something this time though. It was soooo funny. xD we were showing each other old pictures of ourselves. HAHAH. I won the ugly contest that time. One of my pictures were soo gross, but then Kirby was like .. "Awww. That was actually kinda cute." SERIOUSLY? It wasnt. Haha. Then Kirby woke me up at 9am cause I told him that I was scared I might not wake up in time. So he called me, but then when I answered .. he didnt say anything cause his eye was about to explode. :[ So I hung up. Haha. Then we started texting, but he fell asleep. And I was at Ro & Nikki's house anyways with MHCC for Fr. Sal. :D We had an amazing breakfast. Except my cupcakes got burnt! But the middle was deliciously soft. MHCC is so much fun. Those kids are ridonkulous. x] Hahaha. Especially Mo & Mary. Then Ro dropped me off at home in her 5-passenger car with Nikki, Mo, Nathan, Justin, and Kuya Rayneil. It was sooooo hot. Then we went to Auntie Coring's old house with Matthew & Auntie. Then we went to S&K office place to clean. MATTHEW IS SO FUNNY. Gosh, he is so cute too. My favorite. <3 Then we went to the commissary & I found out that Michael Jackson died & Kirby freaked out. And I saw Julian Taruc's kuya .. but he didnt know me. Then we went to Aunties house, then home. Confession: Kirby & I have been texting all day. He just texted me right now, actually. Oh btw, word gets around real quickly, huh?

"Since a pretty girl is depending on me, I must do everything in my power to save her =]"

Aside from all of that.

Another good day for me, I believe. :D Another all-nighter on stickam with Kirby, that is. Hahaha. But we didnt stay up as late/early. I think we fell asleep before 6:30am? But anyways .. I ran a few errands with Mommy. It was aiiight. But I finally got a Strawberry Colada Fruitista from Taco Bell! Ive been waiting to get one .. since they came out. Haha. And while mommy & I were grocery shopping, she got annoyed how I was texting like the whole time. D: HAHA. Sorry. xP Then we ate dinner at home & went to Resurrection for Pyc practice. Pretty fun, I guess. At least we practiced finally .. but we still have a lot to do for induction. >.< Then afterwards, AMP43 went to McDonalds. Freakin took so long when all we ordered were stuff from the Dollar Menu. Then like 20 minutes after waiting .. the lady goes, "Would you like something else besides a sweet tea? Or do you want to wait?" And we asked how long we had to wait. And she says, "I cant really tell you." LAME. Haha, gosh. xD Then we went to Camille & Christine's house and FINALLY started preparing ourselves for upcoming AMP43 performances on July 2nd, 3rd, and 4th. Im so excited. :] Our outfits sound like they are going to look amazing, & I love all of our song choices. Wooohooooo. Haha. Fansigns anyone? ;D

Watch out for AMP43. <3
July 2: SUMMER SYMPOSIUM @ Virginia Wesleyan.
July 3: Not really AMP43 .. but PYC. haha. SYMPOSIUM again.
July 4: Fil-am @ Red Wing. & Elaine Deguzman's Debut.

Oh man, Im stokeddd. :D I know we're really procrastinating .. But AMP43, we got this. :]

Forgive me.

I admit it. The things you say to me make me blush. Your compliments make me smile. But I dont want to get into anything like this right now. I dont want to let my heart get to me. Please, dont let me fall for you. Not now. But I totally understand what you are going through. Although, I am here to help you .. I wish I didnt have to watch you in this situation & not know what to do or say. Tell me if Im guilty for smiling at the things he says.

"Oh yeah! Of course, I always wanna talk to Ria =]"
"Ria, you know you're pretty! So pretty, that you give the sun a reason to shine =D"
"Ria, youre beautiful. Especially when you laugh"

[00:17] but everything I called you, and complimented you on
[00:17] I really did mean it
[00:17] I always felt that way
[00:18] if we get anything out of this predicament
[00:18] it is your feelings
[00:18] you should always be happy
[00:18] and know that you are prettya
[00:18] and special
[00:18] even though I messed up, and I am truly sorry for
[00:18] just hold onto those, please.

Oh, what a day. :D

This was probably the best day of my summer so far, in the most unproductive way possible. :] Hahaha. Anyways, last night I was on stickam with Marlon, Kirby, Bomban, Ronnie, Isiah, Nghia, and everyone else at Nghias place from time to time. Oh and Elaine came later on. IT WAS FUN. :D So we played a contest to see who could stay up the longest. & Marlon was hosting, but then he got off unexpectedly. So I got sad.. but luckily Kirby texted me & he went live! So it was just me, Kirby, and Bomban. Nghia doesnt count cause he was disqualified. ;D Then I fell asleep for like 3-4 minutes. x] But I wasnt disqualified.. go me! hahaha. So the sun was already rising, it was like 5 something in the morning. And Nghia fell asleep again so Isiah came on. At about 7ish .. we "finished" our game with Kirby at first, Bomban at second, and me at third. So we told Bomban to go to sleep .. just in case his dad came in. Then me and Kirby got to talk. It was fun, we were actually open to each other [in a suprising kind of way]. He told me that he had a crush on me earlier in the year and that out of all the freshmen, he thought I was pretty. That made me smile. Then later he would talk about how cool I am and how pretty he thought I was. >.< Probably the most surprising thing he said was, "Is it bad that I have Erica, but every time I see you, my heart races?" AH. I got super super kilig. And he asked if I felt awkward after he said that, but I really didnt so I said it was all goood. I told him that it was cute to me, but complicated for us. So yeah. I had like the best all nighter yet. We fell asleep around 830am, but we stayed on stickam. The rest came on later and watched me & Kirby sleep. Haha.

PS: Kirby, Bomban, and I were on stickam for 18 hours. New record! xD

Then we went to Kapamilya around 730 to meet up with MHCC. <3 Im so glad we went. Michael & Paola had fun too. We all did. :D PSYCHIATRIST! Hahaha. Probably one of the coolest yet frustrating ice breaker games out there. I wanna play again with people who dont know how to play. And now Im excited to ghetto-fy Rach & Nate with Michael. :D Hopefully we get to go on Thursday after we practice for Father Sal. Cant wait! :]